Recessionista in love

In Colombia there used to be this great telenovela (soap opera) called "Hasta la plata nos separe" (Until money do us part). It wasn't a typical telenovela with sex, crime, scandal and interfamily drama. It was about two business partners and their struggle to run a successful sales team. They had schemes within the staff, did a big push to hit their sales numbers and went on business trips with hilarious conclusions. But the title is what hits me today: until money do us part. How often is money a source of conflict in relationships.

You see, your recessionista just started seeing a gentleman, and the most difficult issue to tackle thus far has been money. Inevitably dates are involved in dating relationships and dates have the distinct potential to cost money. I will be perfectly fair to the gentleman and say that significant financial investment on his part (a few elegant dates at nice DC restaurants for which I did not pay) played a part in convincing me to go out with him. We both make about the same amount of money, though only your recessionista has a large pile of debt. (Please see preceding blog posts for background on this saga)

So what is the modern, urban couple to do? The first thing I have discovered is that frank conversation about expenses is the most practical thing to do. To assume, as the old saying goes, makes an ass out of "u" and me. So I told him all the background information he would need to know why I am a tad paranoid about finances, why I work a second job (more on that soon!), and why I like to split the check, eat in and have him pay for things. Turns out though, that he is not much better off, having significant expenses and making about the same salary I do. This revelation brought us to a place of mutual understanding.

Compromise is proving a very healthy thing and surprisingly endearing to do, if not particularly glamorous. We try to split things, meet at each other's homes, and plan for "date nights" that involve spending. It's not perfect and sometimes it's uncomfortable but it's a challenge in communication that causes growth.

Deciding where the line is may prove difficult since the object of Recessionista affection (henceforth referred to as the ORA) is employed in the financial sector. I am sure he has a wealth of advice to offer (none that I can easily comprehend--he's kind of a financial wunderkind) and could help me improve my portfolio, but I am thus far ill at ease with advice about personal finance from him. I guess it's because there a more significant level of commitment that's necessary before you let someone influence how you spend your money and that is a long way down the road.

For now I am going to have to create a new column in my budget just for date nights with the ORA. Because planning ahead is sexy and being able to pick up the tab is even sexier.